Why the Law of Attraction may not be working for you
Last week I was talking to a new client who said, “I’ve read all that stuff on the Law of Attraction and I really try to practice it, but it’s not working. What am I doing wrong?!”
We’ve all heard about the “Law of Attraction”—that what you focus on, you attract. And many people believe there are three basic parts to the Law of Attraction: ask for what you want (which of course implies you know what you want), believe you already have it and then be open to receiving it.
Well, this new client was in a lot of pain. She really wanted to attract more money and was frustrated that it wasn’t working. (As we all know, people most commonly use the Law of Attraction to attract more financial security to themselves—more money or things that money could bring them. Of course this is what gives the Law a bad wrap sometimes. Some people see it as a New Age angle on materialism. But that’s a different article…)
I suspected I knew why it wasn’t working. Want to know the secret to the Secret? The Law of Attraction can be a very powerful, metaphysical law. However, if it is not grounded in emotional awareness and healthy financial skills, it won’t work. And this person was not financially grounded.
If you want the Law of Attraction to work, you simply must maintain financial clarity by practicing healthy financial behaviors. (I’ll write about emotional awareness in a different article.) I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Bad news? Yes—because I think the truth is that we wish all we had to do was visualize what we want to attract. But that is not enough. We must do the work it takes to get financially grounded and clear. AND we must maintain this clarity. When you maintain financial clarity, magic can truly happen. Grounded magic.
Think of it this way: The Law of Attraction tells us to focus on what you want. Well, that is the first problem. We don’t know exactly what we want! If you don’t know exactly how much money you need to bring in, for example, how are you going to practice the Law of Attraction? It won’t work if you are uncertain of what you want to attract. You would never call a catalog company and say, “I’d like to order a shirt”. Well, what shirt? What size, color, style etc? Exactly how much money do you need to cover your lifestyle? Exactly what does your life cost you?
I have my clients start out by practicing “radical financial clarity”. We begin by looking at the reality of their money. We look at where it is going. I teach people how to gain control over their money so they can then decide where they WANT their money to go. (Yes, that really is possible.) We start with the small picture and progressively move to the bigger picture.
You can do this too—by looking at your money. When you write down where your money goes, you become more financially conscious and aware. When you take the time to plan where you want to spend your money, you unleash a powerful force of intention in your life. Let me say that again—by planning where you want to spend your money, you become a more intentional being! And this consciousness also serves to get you in touch with what you truly need.
I find that when people maintain financial clarity, they also have less shame around their money. They feel better about how they spend money because they begin to spend their money more consciously as opposed to spending reactively. And when people feel better about how they treat their money, it is easier to believe in what they want to attract and be open to receiving it. When you mistreat money, regardless of how conscious this is, it is hard to be truly open to receiving more. Treat what you have well and you create space for more.
The Law of Attraction can work. By getting grounded in the world of money and practicing healthy financial behaviors, you can more easily attract what you want and need. And you’ll become a more intentional person along the way.
What are your thoughts?
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May 14th, 2010
Good stuff, Mikelann.
I do want to point out that the Law of Attraction is always at work, just like gravity. It’s just not always producing the results we want, but it is always producing the results we are “asking for” according to our vibrational energy.
Karen Polis
May 14th, 2010
Accurate and insightful article, Mikelann! Thanks for taking us to the “next level” regarding financial consciousness. The education you give us is worth…well…million$!
Cyndie Ulrich
May 15th, 2010
Great post. I’ve been telling clients for years that it’s not really a “secret” and that thoughts mean nothing without action.
Karen Southall Watts
May 17th, 2010
There’s an old Russian proverb that summarizes your great post: “Pray to God, but continue to row to shore.”
Stacey Powell
May 18th, 2010
Wow! What you wrote just hit me: “I teach people how to gain control over their money so they can then decide where they WANT their money to go. (Yes, that really is possible.)”
Sure, I have a spending plan and track every penny that comes in or goes out of my life, but the way you phrased that made me think differently.
I immediately pulled out a sheet of paper and decided to list what I really WANT to spend in each category.
And the results? Amazingly, it’s just slightly BELOW what I bring in each month. I bring in enough money for what I wish I was spending, but the way I currently allocate my monthly income shows a glaring disparity between wishes and reality: I see with blinding clarity that my large mortgage is eating my lunch!
Thanks again for your terrific insights! Now to figure out this housing thing….
Teresa Randall
May 20th, 2010
This is great. Many people think The Secret is a bunch of hogwash because they think it means visualizing and waiting for things you believe you have will materialize. But they forget the last step: Being open to Receiving! How? By taking action!! Maybe you won’t know exactly HOW your’e going to get to what you want, but begin taking steps in that direction. Also, determining a time-frame that is believable for you (cause if you don’t believe it, it ain’t gonna materialize!). Take definite action, and decide on a definite time by which you will achieve your goal. That’s how one opens up to receiving!
Kenia
May 24th, 2010
I think many people forget the 3rd step, and that is why the Law of Attraction doesn’t work for them. The 3rd step is, after knowing what you want, and visualizing/believing it, you need to be open to receiving it. I believe the only way to be open to receiving what you ask for and visualize is by taking ACTION. Even if only baby steps, one needs to begin moving towards the direction they need to go. If you’re visualizing what you want, and then your actions are not moving towards what you want, you’re not opening yourself up to receiving. This is another reason why the Law of Attraction has gotten a bad rap. People say, “That’s ridiculous! It says I’m supposed to just imagine something, and POOF, there it will be? Yeah, right” Well no, that’s not all it says. Remember step 3 – that is the one that says, “Get off your Butt, create a plan, and MOVE!” That’s the only way to open yourself up to receiving!
Kenia
June 16th, 2010
Thank you Mikelann for this thought provoking article. My personal experience is that it takes time for things to ‘materialize.’ I’ve had wonderful things happen to me many months after I’d given up thinking about them.
Jeanette Nyden
June 16th, 2010
I love all these comments! It’s interesting- I sent out this post in my newsletter, and I received a lot of unsubscribes, yet there is also a lot of interest. It’s possible some people think I’m getting too metaphysical in addressing it, and it’s also possible that some think I’m being too harsh on the Law of Attraction. The irony is that I personally do believe in, and practice, the Law of Attraction. That is why I’m so familiar with it. But often people want it to just work without having to do the work– take action– as so many of you rightly point out.
Mikelann Valterra
June 16th, 2010
Great article! I teach Prosperity training to business people and this concept is the first one to understand. We actually see the Law of Attraction work very well when used correctly. Mikelann has made some great suggestions. I also see a lot of people frustrated by the Law of Attraction, because they’re not fully aligned with what they want. They may be mentally aligned with the desire for more money, but they’re feeling frustrated or anxious that they don’t have it yet. That sends a very mixed signal to the Universe and it doesn’t know what to send. Try feeling joyful when you’re thanking the Universe in advance for sending you something. It works a lot better.
Madeline Gerwick
June 16th, 2010