Savvy Women Earning

Do you want some help with rate-setting?

Mikelann Valterra — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 17:55:57 +0000

I realize its summer and most of us don’t want to think about business (I can always tell because when I send my newsletter out, I get back everyone’s auto responder telling me they are on vacation.) But eventually we’ll have to think about work again. So please consider joining me for a day-long seminar on how to set and raise your rates. We’re going to talk about how to charge people money in a way that actually works and feels good to you. Yes, that really is possible. And I’ll cover exactly how to raise your fees. We will also do a lot of processing on the emotional side of this charged issue. Many of us are conflicted over the notion of charging people for helping them. And often times we’re simply not sure how much we “should” be charging let alone how to communicate this cleanly to other people. So if you want help with this, please join me September 24^th (9-4:30) in Seattle. I’m only going to work with a group of 12 women, so you must register soon, even though you may still be sitting on a beach somewhere. September WILL come, I promise.

In the meantime, I’ve done a lot of writing about this. I’ve written about the perceived value of what you charge. (How does your fee affect other people?) The post is called “What do your fees say? The tale of hiring a therapist”. I’ve also written my response to the question I sometimes get, “How can I justify my price?” People really liked this particular post, so you may want to check it out too.

To read about the day-long seminar, click here. And would you please help me pass the word on to any women you know who could use some help with issue? They may be sitting on a beach without internet access. (Wait, that sounds really great! Time for my vacation.) Thanks.

More shopping advice and the pain of parting with your stuff

Mikelann Valterra — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 17:11:25 +0000

You know my motto: Earn more and spend wisely! So this post is about that second part- because it doesn’t matter if you earn more- if you blow it all at Target. Well, thanks to the hot new field of “neuroeconomics”, I’ve learned another bit of shopping advice.

Recently, I wrote in a post about going to Home Depot and what happens when you buy something big and then follow it up by buying a lot of small things. Those small things really start to feel free, in comparison.

I mentioned that I have this habit where I always tell myself I can throw anything in my cart, but it doesn’t mean I’ll buy it.

Now I’m thinking I should rethink that habit, due to what neuro-economists call “the endowment effect.” Brian Knutson, an associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Stanford, has written about this. Basically, he says that you should avoid hanging on to items you’re thinking of buying in a store. When you carry them around with you, they start to feel like yours. Then you experience pain when you think about getting rid of them. In essence, you will feel like you are “losing” these objects if you don’t buy them, because you’ve become attached to them. They’ve done interesting studies to support this, all of which point to the same thing: when you have an object in your possession, it feels like “yours”, and you start to value it more then you should. It’s not really conscious.

If I hit Bed, Bath and Beyond and pick up the bamboo cutlery organizer which is right at the entrance to the store, and then proceed to carry it around with me for twenty minutes while I look at other things, well,…. It gets harder to let go of. I’ve pictured it in my kitchen and held it for a while. The point is that it is more painful to put it back then we realize. If I had left it on its shelf and then gone back to check it out at the end, I would be less likely to buy it. But who wants to have to go all the way back to the front of the store? (Stores know this, of course. They steer you around more purposefully then we know.)

When my son was younger, he was into “Rescue Heroes”. (They are basically action figures for younger kids.) We went to Toys R Us one day to spend a gift certificate and his allowance. While there were many things he wanted, the Rescue Hero’s display was the first thing he saw. So he picked up Billy Blazes and carted him around the store while we were looking. Well, surprise- even though he found a Lego set that he had talked about for a LOT longer, he simply couldn’t give up Billy Blazes. It was too painful to part with him. The toy already felt like his.

I guess we’re not that different. So I think that I’ll stop carrying stuff around in my cart while I “debate” buying it. Because it does start to feel painful to part with my stuff…

What is your money story?

Mikelann Valterra — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:05:17 +0000

Why do we do what we do when it comes to money? The answer: We behave according to what we believe, or rather—we react without thinking based on what we unconsciously believe.

So how do you figure out what you believe? There are many ways. David Krueger in his new book, The Secret Language of Money, talks about getting in touch with your “money story”, so I wanted to share his suggestions. It’s important to understand that we use stories to make sense of our world. It is part of being human—though we are not always aware of the stories we tell ourselves. We use stories to simplify complex circumstances and to help us order our personal universe. And if something doesn’t fit our internal story, we either ignore it or change the circumstances to fit it….

So the question is, what is your money story? What is the story you tell yourself about money? Krueger suggests this:

1. Write down three significant “money memories” (These could be positive or negative incidences/ memories)
2. Why is each experience significant to you? What are the emotions around each one?
3. What is the story you tell yourself to make sense of each incidence? What did this experience “prove” to you? Krueger suggests that you imagine telling someone your experience and then end the telling with, “The moral of this story is…”

Don’t assume these are about negative experiences. Your significant money experiences may be how excited you were at landing your first job, or stealing something and getting caught, a broken financial promise in your family, hearing your parents fight about money, or a saying your family had about money.

If you recall an incident related to money, good or bad, you likely still remember it because it was highly emotional. We remember and store things if they are emotionally “charged”. Otherwise, we’re likely to forget. So what are the feelings surrounding each story?

What story does each experience prove? You told yourself a story about each thing, good or bad.

Emily remembered that when she was 15, her mom sent her to the store to buy some groceries. But apparently she bought the wrong things. When she got home, her mom berated her and told her, “I can’t trust you to go to the store! That was good money you squandered!”

Who knows if this is what Emily’s mom actually said. But that is how Emily remembers it. It was a significant memory to her because she felt so bad- she felt she let her mom down, she was embarrassed, she felt she failed and that she wasn’t very smart. Wow. In fact, the incident was so painful that instead of recalling it over and over, she just made up a story to make sense of it all. (That is what we do!) The story she told herself was, “I’m not very smart with money. I can’t be trusted with money.”

As an adult, she lives out this simplified story in many ways. She continues to “make the story true” since it is her story. As you can imagine, she does things that she doesn’t feel are very smart financially. Then she beats herself up.

But once she became aware of her story, she could see how it played out for her. Then she chose to consciously tell herself a new story.

So what about you? What is your money story? What is the story about money you’ve been telling yourself? How long have you been telling yourself this story?

Are you tired of this story and ready to write a new one?

Teleclass on June 23rd– From Underearning to Prosperity

Mikelann Valterra — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 17:17:01 +0000

Well, I can’t make it any easier than this! Our events calendar is now up. Every month I will offer a one hour teleclass on some aspect of improving your relationship to money, for a whopping $37 bucks. (These calls are free to my current Financial Recovery Coaching clients.) I’ll teach for 40 minutes and then we’ll discuss your thoughts for the rest of the call. Or just download it if you can’t make it live. But I hope you’ll join me! June 23rd, 10am PT/ 1 pm ET. (How to escape the “Money Life Drain” is on July 1st. Check out the calendar for other ones. I’ve got a really cool one on shopping and brain science in Oct. And then there’s the one on Noble Poverty etc etc. I love this stuff!)

From Underearning to Prosperity—the Four Keys June 23rd, 10am PT/ 1pm ET
Underearning is the pattern of earning below your potential. So are you earning at your potential? Or are you struggling against an “internal income ceiling”? In this powerful teleclass, Mikelann explores the psychology of why women undersell themselves and what to do about it. From expecting less money than other people, to difficulty in asking for what they really want, women who “underearn” deal with complex emotional issues around making money. Learn four crucial skills to earning what you are really worth and start making more money today!
We’ll cover:
•   One way to make asking what you want easier
•   How women under-price themselves and what to do about it
•   A powerful strategy to conquering the “good girl syndrome”
•   The importance of getting in touch with your “resentment number”.
Come away feeling empowered to earn what you are worth! You really can conquer underearning. Register.

Why small things start to feel free: Shopping advice

Mikelann Valterra — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 16:57:24 +0000

So I’m at Home Depot to buy a hundred dollar garden bench. This was the plan. Really. And while I was wandering around the garden section, I found these cute five dollar hangers for pots. Then I saw some discounted annuals. Three dollar Pansies. Even I can grow pansies. Throw them in the cart. I mean, really, it’s almost free. I was already spending one hundred dollars! Then I saw some ten dollar solar lights for my garden. Hey, they were only 7.99 on sale! Throw them in. Okay, now some 99 cent seed packets and a $5.00 hose attachment. I mean, come on, it’s only five bucks. I was there to spend a hundred. What’s five bucks?

I always tell myself I can throw anything in my cart, but it doesn’t mean I’ll buy it. So before I hit the checkout stand, I added up my “freebies”. They came to forty bucks. Oh, and the hundred I was already planning on spending.

What was going on here? I was experiencing a shopping phenomenon that actually has a name: It’s called “decreasing sensitivity to losses.” George Lowenstein is a cutting edge researcher in the hot new field of “neuroeconomics”, at Carnegie Mellon. And he warns against this. (I’m really fascinated by this new field of “neuroeconomics”. I just can’t help it. I’m a money coach who has a masters in “consciousness studies”, so it’s not a surprise, though perhaps a bit nerdy. It’s a combo of psychology, economics and neuroscience. )

Basically, you want to be careful about buying too much in one store. When you spend a large amount at a store (my hundred dollars) then everything else feels cheaper there then it normally would. It’s all relative, right? So when you start buying a lot of small items, they start feeling free.

If you go to another store to buy these small things, they don’t feel so free. I doubt I would have spent the forty bucks there if I hadn’t been about to part with a hundred dollars.

I find this type of research really helpful. First of all, it tells me that I’m pretty normal. My brain is just as likely as anyone else’s to experience this. I’m really a pretty smart cookie. And now that I’m more aware of this “phenomenon”, I’m less likely to fall prey to it.

I could say, “Would I still buy all of this stuff if I wasn’t spending the hundred?” Or I could simply put it all back and tell myself that if I still wanted it, I could come back a different time and buy it. But that gets into delayed gratification, and that’s a different post.

For now, I’ll try to be aware of adding a ton of “free” things when I’m spending a hundred bucks.

Why the Law of Attraction may not be working for you

Mikelann Valterra — Fri, 14 May 2010 22:51:57 +0000

Last week I was talking to a new client who said, “I’ve read all that stuff on the Law of Attraction and I really try to practice it, but it’s not working. What am I doing wrong?!”

We’ve all heard about the “Law of Attraction”—that what you focus on, you attract. And many people believe there are three basic parts to the Law of Attraction: ask for what you want (which of course implies you know what you want), believe you already have it and then be open to receiving it.

Well, this new client was in a lot of pain. She really wanted to attract more money and was frustrated that it wasn’t working. (As we all know, people most commonly use the Law of Attraction to attract more financial security to themselves—more money or things that money could bring them. Of course this is what gives the Law a bad wrap sometimes. Some people see it as a New Age angle on materialism. But that’s a different article…)

I suspected I knew why it wasn’t working. Want to know the secret to the Secret? The Law of Attraction can be a very powerful, metaphysical law. However, if it is not grounded in emotional awareness and healthy financial skills, it won’t work. And this person was not financially grounded.

If you want the Law of Attraction to work, you simply must maintain financial clarity by practicing healthy financial behaviors. (I’ll write about emotional awareness in a different article.) I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Bad news? Yes—because I think the truth is that we wish all we had to do was visualize what we want to attract. But that is not enough. We must do the work it takes to get financially grounded and clear. AND we must maintain this clarity. When you maintain financial clarity, magic can truly happen. Grounded magic.

Think of it this way: The Law of Attraction tells us to focus on what you want. Well, that is the first problem. We don’t know exactly what we want! If you don’t know exactly how much money you need to bring in, for example, how are you going to practice the Law of Attraction? It won’t work if you are uncertain of what you want to attract. You would never call a catalog company and say, “I’d like to order a shirt”. Well, what shirt? What size, color, style etc? Exactly how much money do you need to cover your lifestyle? Exactly what does your life cost you?

I have my clients start out by practicing “radical financial clarity”. We begin by looking at the reality of their money. We look at where it is going. I teach people how to gain control over their money so they can then decide where they WANT their money to go. (Yes, that really is possible.) We start with the small picture and progressively move to the bigger picture.

You can do this too—by looking at your money. When you write down where your money goes, you become more financially conscious and aware. When you take the time to plan where you want to spend your money, you unleash a powerful force of intention in your life. Let me say that again—by planning where you want to spend your money, you become a more intentional being! And this consciousness also serves to get you in touch with what you truly need.

I find that when people maintain financial clarity, they also have less shame around their money. They feel better about how they spend money because they begin to spend their money more consciously as opposed to spending reactively. And when people feel better about how they treat their money, it is easier to believe in what they want to attract and be open to receiving it. When you mistreat money, regardless of how conscious this is, it is hard to be truly open to receiving more. Treat what you have well and you create space for more.

The Law of Attraction can work. By getting grounded in the world of money and practicing healthy financial behaviors, you can more easily attract what you want and need. And you’ll become a more intentional person along the way.

What are your thoughts?

Financial Recovery Coaching

Mikelann Valterra — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 17:54:22 +0000

I did it! I finally finished my new website about my money coaching/ Financial Recovery Coaching and I want to share it with you—www.seattlemoneycoach.com . (Yes, my clients are all over the country, but my actual office is in Seattle.) The Women’s Earning Institute has had a site for many years (and still does) but I’ve realized that the information on my coaching practice was very buried. That, and I think some people thought I stopped taking private clients because I do so much work on underearning issues. But underearning is just one facet of money coaching.

Actually, the number one reason people call me is that they are either tired of not feeling in control of their money (business or personal) or they just wish they felt—more in control of their money! And they want to escape the money fog, end the debt cycle, build meaningful savings and deal with emotional money issues. Oh yes—and earn more. So if you’re curious, I recorded a four minute video where I talk about my coaching practice. One of my gifts is helping people develop—and integrate into their lives– their own P.F.P.- Personal Financial Practice. And self-employed people desperately need this too. (How many of us talk about developing our prayer or meditation practice?) It’s life-changing work. So check it out. www.seattlemoneycoach.com (By the way, I do help train new Financial Recovery Coaches, so contact me directly for information on that.)

3 reasons why Food and Money are related

Mikelann Valterra — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 20:03:17 +0000

As a money coach, I ask new clients about their relationship to food.

What? Why am I asking that? Because food issues and money issues are VERY related. They are the two most common things we turn to, to make ourselves feel better.

Think of it this way– when we are depressed, sad or angry, many of us will eat to make ourselves feel better or we’ll spend money to feel better. They are also how we sooth ourselves when we feel anxiety.

How about you? Have you ever had a bad fight with a friend or a boss and then found yourself out shopping? Or perhaps indulging in some yummy ice-cream?

We also turn to spending or eating when faced with fear of deprivation. When people start a weight loss program, for example, it is common for their spending to spiral out of control. They are afraid of being deprived in one area of their life so they turn to another area to indulge and prove to themselves that they are okay.

I’ve had many clients sheepishly confess to me that before coming to their first appointment with me they did some major shopping. Why? They were afraid that when they really looked at their money, they’d see they wouldn’t have enough. Now I know the truth is that when you truly look and learn how to take control of your finances, you learn how to truly take care of yourself. There is enough. But the initial fear is that of deprivation.

Food and money swing in the same orbit. We use food and money to reward ourselves. We use food and money to punish ourselves. (Sometimes we don’t spend enough money on ourselves and we don’t eat enough. We also deprive ourselves by underearning.)

Food and money are also related because they are both socially sanctioned. What I mean is this—you may have a major spending or eating issue, but no one calls you on it. However, if you have a cocaine issue, eventually (hopefully) someone will call for an intervention. Now you may say that food and money are both “legal substances”, so we don’t call anyone on their addiction to them. True. But so is alcohol.

I find that yet another reason food and money are so related is that there is no hard core “bottom line” for either. You can’t say to yourself, “I just won’t eat.” or “I just won’t spend money.” You have to eat and you have to spend. So what is the right amount? This where it gets very personal. You need to discover, for you, what your ‘bottom line behaviors” are around money. And they may be different than someone else’s.

For me, my bottom line financial behaviors are to track where I spend my money. If I don’t do this, I go into a money fog. And it’s so easy to overspend if I’m in a fog. I mean, hey—maybe everything’s okay, right?

Like it or not, food and money can be very related, though many of us tend to have one we turn to more than the other. So consider this all food for thought. What about you? What you’re feeling super emotional, do you turn more to spending or eating? What are you aware of?

Take care of yourself and let go of low-fee clients

Mikelann Valterra — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 17:40:08 +0000

Let’s say the hardest thing first: if you raise your fees, it’s possible you may lose some clients. And I hear the fear over losing anyone. However, if you raise your fees by ten percent or less, it is likely that you’ll lose very little business. (And it’s also likely that if someone leaves over a small fee hike, they were likely going to leave soon anyways.) Still, it’s possible.

Yes, you could lose some clients if you raise your fees – even if you raise them by a small amount. AND this could be an appropriate and good thing. You’ll make more money (and have more time!) working with fewer clients who pay you a higher fee than if you work with everyone who pays you a lower fee. Think of it this way: You must make room for higher-paying clients by letting go of some lower-paying clients at the bottom.

I once presented a rate-setting seminar to a group of therapists, and the possibility of losing clients due to a rate hike was the hardest part for them. Some of them had worked with the same clients for many years without ever raising their fees. They felt that they owed it to their clients to not raise their rates. But this is simply unreasonable. You must raise your fees by about 5% each year simply to keep pace with inflation. Where does it say that we should put our client’s needs in front of our needs and our family’s needs? Where is it written that we should sacrifice ourselves on behalf of our clients? Low fee clients exact a price paid for by our increasing deprivation.

Your lower paying clients will decide on their own if they can afford you, but no professional, including therapists and other healing professionals, should promise her clients that she will never raise her rates. Remember, if nothing else, you have to raise your rates to keep from falling behind.

Our relationships with our clients are very powerful. We may sometimes become very wrapped up and enmeshed with them. We can honor and care deeply for them, but if you don’t take care of yourself financially, the quality of your work will suffer. It makes little sense to deprive yourself in order to help others. Low fees contribute to the syndrome of the wounded healer.

Of course raising fees is difficult. It feels very emotional. But we owe it to our clients to raise our rates fairly and regularly. If you are doing great work and your clients are getting results, they will rarely leave you over a 10 percent rate hike. But sometimes it happens. Time to breathe deeply.

Free Teleseminar March 23 on “Understanding Your Money Personality”

Mikelann Valterra — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 22:46:11 +0000

Are you ever frustrated by how you feel about money? Or why you do what you do, with money? It may be time to get in touch with your personal money style- otherwise known as your “money personality”. On Tuesday March 23rd, from 5:30 to 6:30 Pacific (8:30-9:30 Eastern), Marcia Brixey (of Money Wise Women) and I are offering a one hour teleseminar on understanding your “money personality” and what this means if you’re self-employed. I’ll dive into what REALLY motivates you.

Bonus: take the quiz before the call! Sign up at Moneywisewomengetsmart.com and you’ll get the handout for the teleseminar: Your Money Personality and Self-Employment. It has a very fun multiple choice quiz for you to take before the call, to start analyzing your own money personality. (Hint- If you are in a romantic partnership with someone, I recommend pretending that you are single when you answer the questions.)

Marcia and I will be discussing this quiz, and what your results mean, on the call. If you don’t take the quiz until after the call, that is great too. You will love listening to us discuss people’s money personalities and how this impacts their ability to be successfully self-employed.

Don’t miss this one. If you can’t make the live call, be sure to sign up so you can access the recording afterward. http://www.moneywisewomengetsmart.com/ It is free. She’ll send you the call-in number and the handout.