What to say when someone says, “Can I pick your brain?”

 One of my newsletter readers recently wrote me with this question:

We are often asked for “advice” or asked “can I pick your brain?”  which often ends up being far more than just one question.  These kinds of inquiries often are more like consultations.  How can we stop giving away our valuable experience for free?

This is a wonderful question—one that I know a lot of us can identify with. First of all, when people corner you and ask for “quick” free advice, it is because:

• They truly don’t understand the complexity of what they are asking
• They are in their own world and unaware of how much time this is really taking
• They don’t know you offer consultations on this exact issue
• They are simply trying to get something for free.

Or any combination above. The first rule of thumb is to set an external deadline. “I have about five minutes before I need to go/ meet so and so/ make a phone call”. Yes, of course we can simply say that we are only going to give them so much “free time” but this often feels uncomfortable. So coming up with an external deadline makes it easier, even if you fake it.

But here is some food for thought. When people ask for free advice, it is really a marketing opportunity. Think of them actually saying, “Are you really an expert on this? Can you really help me? Please educate me on how to use your services.” Instead of saying all of that, they simply ask you a “quick” question.

So try this response. “That is a great question. It is something I consult with people on all the time. When I meet with them, I cover these related issues….. I bet you can see how these issues all inter-relate. Do you want me to send you my latest newsletter?”

For example, if someone asks me a “quick question” on how much money they should charge for their service, I respond this way. “That is a really good question. I do a lot of rate-setting consultations, as you can imagine. In a two hour session we cover issues like how to go about the research, what differentiates your service, and what are the underlying emotional issues that may be getting in the way. Then we develop an actual strategy to raise your fees. Do you want me to send you a great short article I just wrote on one of these aspects?”

The point of your response should be to:

• Establish your credibility
• Educate them on how to work with you
• Create a connection (if you want one)

I hope that helps. What thoughts do you have on this important topic? How do you respond when people want a “quick moment” of your valuable time?

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