Being the “good girl” holds me back

“The Good Girl Syndrome”, which I write so much about, is alive and well in me. I’m a good girl! Good girls want everyone to like them and they don’t want to make anyone mad. They don’t want to rock the boat. Good girls have a hard time negotiating for themselves and asking for what they want and need. It seems to crop up everywhere for women, and if you are self-employed, it is a huge issue!

I notice, for me, how it crops up in my hesitation about self-promotion. For example, I send out an electronic newsletter once a month with, I think, a great article. Then I send out a second email about upcoming events. That’s it. Two emails a month. (And now that I’ve tamed my database, only Puget Sound subscribers will even get this second email! I know I’m annoying my subscribers who live far away when they get local notices. And “Good Girls” hate to annoy people!) But I still agonize. Am I sending out too much email? Am I annoying people? What is the “right” amount? It does pain me that I could be annoying people with too much mail, and yet I know that you have to put yourself out there, even when not everyone welcomes you. So perhaps the answer is not to banish the good girl. I’m not sure that is possible. Beside, I like being a “nice person”. But I’ve got to challenge my internal “good girl”. If I always worry about inconveniencing everyone around me, I won’t get very far….

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